What the world needs now is love, sweet love…
A more loving world starts with a more loving you. It is only when we begin to love and accept ourselves, flaws and all, that we can begin to radiate love out to others and to the world around us. It sounds straight forward but for many of us, learning to love and accept ourselves is no easy task.
This is where Yoga comes in. Practising yoga presents us with many opportunities to practise self-love and self-compassion. How you might ask? Yoga is not just a physical practice. The physical postures, or asana, are just one aspect or one limb of the yoga path. There are eight limbs of yoga in total as outlined in the Yoga Sutras, a philosophical text by the ancient Indian sage Patanjali, which offer us guidance on how to live a meaningful life both on and off the yoga mat. The first limb consists of the yamas which are moral or ethical guidelines on how best to act towards ourselves and the world around us. Ahimsa, the first yama, which means non-harming or non-violence, is at the heart of practising yoga. Ahimsa suggests our thoughts, words and actions should embody non-violence and come from a place of love, kindness and compassion.
The practice of Ahimsa starts from within, with love and acceptance of the true self. This is easier said than done if like me, your inner critic has always been in the driver’s seat lashing out the whip for every imperfection or weakness, analysing and judging you on your daily choices and decisions and discouraging you from going after what you really want. Many of us are instinctively giving and loving towards others, yet can feel as if we ourselves are unworthy of love. Why do we find it so difficult to practise compassion towards ourselves? Perhaps it stems back to our childhood and upbringing, perhaps we have been trying to live up to expectations or values instilled in us, perhaps we had overly critical or demanding parents or teachers, perhaps we had unpleasant experiences or relationships in our adolescent years. These experiences often contribute to feeling flawed or unlovable, can lead to perfectionism and produce that nagging internal voice “that mocks us, humiliates us and mercilessly puts us down” (Salzberg, 2005, p.23). According to yoga philosophy, this inner chatter or chitta vritti is often fueled by our deeply ingrained habits or patterns, known as Samskara. Patanjali compares the mind to a gem which accumulates the dust of our conditioned thoughts and impressions during our lives, causing us to lose touch with our inner shining light. The true essence of yoga, according to Patanjali, is to dust off the gem by calming or quietening this chitta vritti , or inner chatter of the mind so that we can be reconciled with our true self, and shine once more.
Yoga is not about self-improvement. It’s about self-acceptance. Modifying and adjusting yoga poses to suit our bodies, our strength, our flexibility, our injuries or illnesses are observances of Ahimsa on the mat. Having a rest in child’s pose, using a block or a belt as support, or taking a few more breaths in downward dog are all examples of moving with intention, ease and tenderness on our mats. Acknowledging and accepting our limitations and letting go of our ego driven expectations or attachment to goals and shapes is also in line with Ahimsa.
Yoga is not a competition, it is a personal inward journey. Through observing and tuning into our bodies and minds during asana, pranayama or meditation, we develop self-awareness. Connecting to our breath enables us to come out of our heads where the inner critic and judge reside and to become present in the moment. So instead of allowing our inner critic take over on the mat, we can allow ourselves to notice it and to become aware of it without over identifying with the associated thoughts and feelings, or allowing them to cripple us. We can then try to counteract the voice of the inner critic by offering ourselves some words of encouragement or by bringing some kindness or softness into our poses. This is in line with what Kristin Neff (associate professor of human development at the University of Texas, Austin, and one of the world’s leading researchers on the topic of self-compassion) refers to as mindfulness and self-kindness, two of the components of self-compassion. She states that self-compassion involves ‘holding negative self-relevant emotions in mindful awareness but also involves generating feelings of kindness toward oneself’ (Neff and Lamb, 2009 in Lopez, 2011, p.865).
Ahimsa should not be limited to our time on the yoga mat. Eating nourishing food, taking rest when needed, not holding on to resentment, anger or jealousy towards others are all ways of bringing ahimsa into our lives through compassion. It is about learning to accept situations as they are with an open heart, letting go of negative reactions and judgements, and replacing them with understanding, kindness and acceptance.
References:
Neff, K. D. and Lamb, L.M . (2009) ‘Self-Compassion’ in Lopez, S. J. (ed.) (2011) The Encyclopedia of Positive Psychology (pp.864-867). Oxford: Blackwell.
Salzberg, S. (2005) The Force of Kindness: Change your life with love and compassion. Colorado: Sounds True.
